Put my son to sleep in his new onesie, woke up to a bear raiding my drawers.
Paul Newman, 1963.
My 6 year old son asked me if I could touch the clouds when I’m at work, so I showed him this…
Way to show up the rest of us dads you piece of shit. Sorry I work on “Earth.”
this is a tough act to follow
Vinny Vedecci table read
I love that this is the one and only post on my dad’s facebook timeline.
Games with English: insert the word “only” anywhere into the above sentence and consider how the placement changes meaning.
from mean to cute
"Do you have the chocolate Ferrero Rocher? I thought it was the poshest thing in the world and the epitome of classy living. So I kept the box. And inside the box I placed a note that said my prize possession is my binoculars and my ambition is to be an actor. I also kept bus tickets in the Ferrero Rocher box." (x)
why did they change it??!!